There have been a shocking and alarming number of suicides in our young LGBT community within the past month, all at the result of being bullied because of their sexual orientation or their "perceived" sexual orientation.
In one situation a college student posted "jumping of gw bridge, sorry" as his Facebook status and then did just that, leaping to his death from the George Washington bridge because his college roommate thought it would be "funny" to broadcast him live on the internet via webcam having a sexual encounter with another man.
In one situation a college student posted "jumping of gw bridge, sorry" as his Facebook status and then did just that, leaping to his death from the George Washington bridge because his college roommate thought it would be "funny" to broadcast him live on the internet via webcam having a sexual encounter with another man.
There have been a shocking and alarming number of suicides in our young LGBT community within the past month, all at the result of being bullied because of their sexual orientation or their "perceived" sexual orientation.
In one situation a college student posted "jumping of gw bridge, sorry" as his Facebook status and then did just that, leaping to his death from the George Washington bridge because his college roommate thought it would be "funny" to broadcast him live on the internet via webcam having a sexual encounter with another man.
What is wrong with this country when something so tragic has been allowed to become an epidemic? Where is the government coming to the aid of it's young people? Why do we fight over petty things in this world when mothers are finding their children as young as 11 years old hanging in their bedrooms?
I was bullied in high school in 1994 - 1997. I had things thrown at me, was pushed down stairs, spit upon, and was called awful names every day. Girls in the locker room were hateful, and boys much larger than me beat me up. The administration more or less feigned concern, but no one was every punished or brought to any kind of justice. Suicide seemed like the only way out.
Not only were these kids making it hard on me every single day, but knowing things like I would never be able to get legally married, or serve in the military, or adopt children if I lived in the "wrong" state - those issues weighed heavily on me too. Not only do you have to face bullies in the shape of kids every day, but the world was full of adult bullies too trying to define me, moderate me, and deny me and my LGBT family my rights.
Imagine how terrible that can make a kid feel. It's hard enough and awkward enough being a kid. Being a gay kid, for me, was excruciating.
One of the first loves I ever had was a girl I dated from mid-sophomore year to early junior year. She came from a born-again Christian family who took one look at me and told their daughter she was not allowed to be my friend. They did not know at the time that she was a lesbian, and we hid our relationship from them as best as two young teenagers could possibly do. They found out around our 8th or 9th month together, and less than 24 hours later had her on a plane to go live with her cousins across the country to remove her from the "homosexual" lifestyle. As if moving her would make her straight - even then I was disgusted by their behavior. My friends and I found out that she was being sent away, and the best people I've ever had in my life - my friends from high school drama - took me to the airport at 5:30 the following morning so we could beg her parents not to send her away.
Thirty kids, standing in the Delta terminal at Tucson Airport, crying as we watched someone we all cared about getting sent out of our lives by ignorance and hate. I remember her mother came up to me and pointed a finger in my face, only an inch away, and threatened "If you ever try and speak to my daughter again, I will kill you." I was 15. I was 15 years old, too young to have a license to even drive a car, and here was a grown woman threatening to kill me, her face completely contorted and ugly with furious anger and rage. It's been 15 years almost exactly to the day and it is something I will never, ever forget.
I remember calling across the terminal, saying "I love you" to my girlfriend. That's all I said. I didn't argue or fight or curse or say anything even remotely rude or aggressive. The mother whirled on me, sneering and shaking her head, like I had just said the most disgusting and vile thing ever. Because I loved her daughter.
It was a tough time. I shared nearly all of my classes with that girlfriend and suddenly there was only an empty seat beside me. It was something I never thought I'd come through. I took pills, many pills and I still woke up. I went to a psychiatrist multiple times a week and got put on anti-depressants. Please allow me to say this again: I was 15.
It was *not* easy in high school. I was lucky that I had an amazing support group in drama. In 1994 I was one of 2 "out" kids at that school, but by 1998 there were a large group of us. Our principal told me that we could have a GSA "over her dead body." Strange, though, that they had a Christian club.
In 1998, Ellen Degeneres, Melissa Etheridge, and Rosie O'Donnell had finally been out for a period of time and it was becoming less shocking to see a homosexual out and about. I fell madly in love at 17 with a girl named Erin, and she with me. Erin was a cute, blonde lipstick lesbian who also happened to be a cheerleader and Homecoming Queen. And suddenly, I became a cool kid.
Instead of getting spit on or beat up, football players would high five me as I walked down the hallway because I was the lesbian dating the Homecoming Queen. It was a very surprising turn of events for me, but one that I was grateful for.
Many kids at that school came out to me. Many kids thanked me for being out (even if they weren't) just because seeing me and knowing I was there made them feel like they weren't alone. I had an experience with a girl who was a freshman when I was a junior - she snuck up to me, placed a note in my hand, and bolted out of the room. The note said something like "I'm only a freshman and you don't know me, but I wanted to say thank you for having the courage to be you."
When I think back on all of it I know in my heart that it was worth it, but I cannot lie and say it was easy. High School was to this day probably the hardest thing I've gone through in my life. It is an an alienating microcosm of society that makes you feel like there is nothing beyond it. You're so young you have no idea what life turns into, or the potential for happiness that exists in your future. Even writing these words right now causes my soul to hurt a little - I'll never forget the awful feelings that were so prevalent for nearly four years of my life.
Seeing the stories in the news of the poor kids - children, babies - who have felt the same way and who have succeeded in suicide where I failed breaks my heart.
These are children. They are supposed to be protected. Not just by their parents, but by teachers and school administrators and ALL adults. You can protect those children by teaching your own children that it is not okay to bully anyone for any reason.
Bullies grow up hearing the same news stories the rest of us do - hearing how gays should not serve in the military, watching story after story of angry people denying gays the right to marry, hearing things about how gays are destroying the "family unit," going to church and hearing about how we are "immoral, un-natural, and sinners." They watch movies where faggots get beat up and lesbians get killed. They hear their parents voice their opinions and CHILDREN WILL LISTEN.
We need all grown up, responsible adults to set a good example for their children. We may not have everyone's acceptance, but we need to teach tolerance. We need to teach these kids that bullying is not funny, cool, or all right. And the people responsible for the deaths of these kids, be they the bullies themselves or their parents, school administrators who fail to act, or that roommate who's webcast caused that young man to kill himself - they NEED to be held accountable.
Legal action is one of the few things that gets people's attention anymore, and I firmly believe that legal action must be taken. These bullies in many situations are akin to murderers and abusers. It cannot go unpunished.
If you know someone who needs help, or even if you don't, please spread the word about The Trevor Project. It is a place LGBT youth can call when they feel alone to find solidarity and support. You can also visit Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project page on YouTube, and upload a video or share the ones that are already there. Put them on your pages, your blogs, your twitters. We have the technological resources to reach out to these kids - they NEED to know they are not alone.
Schools don't let us in. PTA's don't want us talking to their children. We can't even teach tolerance for same sex relationships in public schools. If they don't want us helping children like that, we need to do so our own way.
So please, do what you can to help.
In one situation a college student posted "jumping of gw bridge, sorry" as his Facebook status and then did just that, leaping to his death from the George Washington bridge because his college roommate thought it would be "funny" to broadcast him live on the internet via webcam having a sexual encounter with another man.
What is wrong with this country when something so tragic has been allowed to become an epidemic? Where is the government coming to the aid of it's young people? Why do we fight over petty things in this world when mothers are finding their children as young as 11 years old hanging in their bedrooms?
I was bullied in high school in 1994 - 1997. I had things thrown at me, was pushed down stairs, spit upon, and was called awful names every day. Girls in the locker room were hateful, and boys much larger than me beat me up. The administration more or less feigned concern, but no one was every punished or brought to any kind of justice. Suicide seemed like the only way out.
Not only were these kids making it hard on me every single day, but knowing things like I would never be able to get legally married, or serve in the military, or adopt children if I lived in the "wrong" state - those issues weighed heavily on me too. Not only do you have to face bullies in the shape of kids every day, but the world was full of adult bullies too trying to define me, moderate me, and deny me and my LGBT family my rights.
Imagine how terrible that can make a kid feel. It's hard enough and awkward enough being a kid. Being a gay kid, for me, was excruciating.
One of the first loves I ever had was a girl I dated from mid-sophomore year to early junior year. She came from a born-again Christian family who took one look at me and told their daughter she was not allowed to be my friend. They did not know at the time that she was a lesbian, and we hid our relationship from them as best as two young teenagers could possibly do. They found out around our 8th or 9th month together, and less than 24 hours later had her on a plane to go live with her cousins across the country to remove her from the "homosexual" lifestyle. As if moving her would make her straight - even then I was disgusted by their behavior. My friends and I found out that she was being sent away, and the best people I've ever had in my life - my friends from high school drama - took me to the airport at 5:30 the following morning so we could beg her parents not to send her away.
Thirty kids, standing in the Delta terminal at Tucson Airport, crying as we watched someone we all cared about getting sent out of our lives by ignorance and hate. I remember her mother came up to me and pointed a finger in my face, only an inch away, and threatened "If you ever try and speak to my daughter again, I will kill you." I was 15. I was 15 years old, too young to have a license to even drive a car, and here was a grown woman threatening to kill me, her face completely contorted and ugly with furious anger and rage. It's been 15 years almost exactly to the day and it is something I will never, ever forget.
I remember calling across the terminal, saying "I love you" to my girlfriend. That's all I said. I didn't argue or fight or curse or say anything even remotely rude or aggressive. The mother whirled on me, sneering and shaking her head, like I had just said the most disgusting and vile thing ever. Because I loved her daughter.
It was a tough time. I shared nearly all of my classes with that girlfriend and suddenly there was only an empty seat beside me. It was something I never thought I'd come through. I took pills, many pills and I still woke up. I went to a psychiatrist multiple times a week and got put on anti-depressants. Please allow me to say this again: I was 15.
It was *not* easy in high school. I was lucky that I had an amazing support group in drama. In 1994 I was one of 2 "out" kids at that school, but by 1998 there were a large group of us. Our principal told me that we could have a GSA "over her dead body." Strange, though, that they had a Christian club.
In 1998, Ellen Degeneres, Melissa Etheridge, and Rosie O'Donnell had finally been out for a period of time and it was becoming less shocking to see a homosexual out and about. I fell madly in love at 17 with a girl named Erin, and she with me. Erin was a cute, blonde lipstick lesbian who also happened to be a cheerleader and Homecoming Queen. And suddenly, I became a cool kid.
Instead of getting spit on or beat up, football players would high five me as I walked down the hallway because I was the lesbian dating the Homecoming Queen. It was a very surprising turn of events for me, but one that I was grateful for.
Many kids at that school came out to me. Many kids thanked me for being out (even if they weren't) just because seeing me and knowing I was there made them feel like they weren't alone. I had an experience with a girl who was a freshman when I was a junior - she snuck up to me, placed a note in my hand, and bolted out of the room. The note said something like "I'm only a freshman and you don't know me, but I wanted to say thank you for having the courage to be you."
When I think back on all of it I know in my heart that it was worth it, but I cannot lie and say it was easy. High School was to this day probably the hardest thing I've gone through in my life. It is an an alienating microcosm of society that makes you feel like there is nothing beyond it. You're so young you have no idea what life turns into, or the potential for happiness that exists in your future. Even writing these words right now causes my soul to hurt a little - I'll never forget the awful feelings that were so prevalent for nearly four years of my life.
Seeing the stories in the news of the poor kids - children, babies - who have felt the same way and who have succeeded in suicide where I failed breaks my heart.
These are children. They are supposed to be protected. Not just by their parents, but by teachers and school administrators and ALL adults. You can protect those children by teaching your own children that it is not okay to bully anyone for any reason.
Bullies grow up hearing the same news stories the rest of us do - hearing how gays should not serve in the military, watching story after story of angry people denying gays the right to marry, hearing things about how gays are destroying the "family unit," going to church and hearing about how we are "immoral, un-natural, and sinners." They watch movies where faggots get beat up and lesbians get killed. They hear their parents voice their opinions and CHILDREN WILL LISTEN.
We need all grown up, responsible adults to set a good example for their children. We may not have everyone's acceptance, but we need to teach tolerance. We need to teach these kids that bullying is not funny, cool, or all right. And the people responsible for the deaths of these kids, be they the bullies themselves or their parents, school administrators who fail to act, or that roommate who's webcast caused that young man to kill himself - they NEED to be held accountable.
Legal action is one of the few things that gets people's attention anymore, and I firmly believe that legal action must be taken. These bullies in many situations are akin to murderers and abusers. It cannot go unpunished.
If you know someone who needs help, or even if you don't, please spread the word about The Trevor Project. It is a place LGBT youth can call when they feel alone to find solidarity and support. You can also visit Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project page on YouTube, and upload a video or share the ones that are already there. Put them on your pages, your blogs, your twitters. We have the technological resources to reach out to these kids - they NEED to know they are not alone.
Schools don't let us in. PTA's don't want us talking to their children. We can't even teach tolerance for same sex relationships in public schools. If they don't want us helping children like that, we need to do so our own way.
So please, do what you can to help.
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