Dear Straight People -

If you cannot handle being in a gay bar, please don't go to one. We don't need you there, and there are millions of other places I'm sure you'd rather be like Fudruckers, TD's, or Hooters.

Please don't get me wrong, I love my straight friends and allies. I have nothing "against" straight people. Without them, none of us would be here, right? But there are those within the straight community who simply do not know how to handle themselves when "out of their element."

There have been a shocking and alarming number of suicides in our young LGBT community within the past month, all at the result of being bullied because of their sexual orientation or their "perceived" sexual orientation.

In one situation a college student posted "jumping of gw bridge, sorry" as his Facebook status and then did just that, leaping to his death from the George Washington bridge because his college roommate thought it would be "funny" to broadcast him live on the internet via webcam having a sexual encounter with another man.

I briefly touched upon the topic of "egos" in my previous blog, and now I'd like to dedicate a little more time to the subject. If you think you are the Most Amazing Performer in the World...you may not want to continue reading.

I like to think I'm a relatively easy going person. I'm sure that there are people who would disagree with that statement, but the truth is I am kind of laid back for an Italian Scorpio from New York.

There are a great deal of things I can handle with grace and ease, but one thing that really, really irks me is when performers do not give credit where credit is due.

Whether you've been performing a short while or hitting the stage for many years, you would not have gotten where you are without the help of others. Bar owners, show directors, fans, friends and other performers have been a part of your journey, step by step.

Inevitably in this business there are those who begin to achieve a modicum of success and suddenly they become convinced that they are the "shiz-nit, beeatch!" And trust me, they'll tell you so!

My family used to have this incredibly ugly decorative painting thing hanging in our kitchen. This was back in NYC, when our kitchen was decorated with blue ribbons, ducks and other fowl... The painting said, "If you can't take the heat, GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!" It had a chicken in an apron wielding a rolling pin chasing a beleaguered looking masculine chicken out of the room. I didn't think it was funny.

And now, 20 years later, I still don't think it's as witty as it believes itself to be, but I do understand the metaphor. I simply think there are more appropriate ways of stating it, like "If you can't take the heat, get off of the stage!"

or, "If you can't take the heat, get out of the business!"

or even, "If you can't take the heat, shut the fu*k up about it."  And then instead of domestically frustrated chickens I would paint a rather large and frightening drag queen wielding a giant curling iron.

Temper tantrums belong in kindergarten. Diva fits belong back stage at Mariah Carey concerts. And shit belongs in the toilet, not coming out of your mouth. If we can't all play nicely in the sandbox, it must be because someone has poopy pants and grumpy faces. That one person shouldn't spoil it for the rest of us mud-pie making, sand castle building, happy-as-clams  architects of the future.

In the business of drag (and it *is* indeed a business) it is inevitable that someone will perform the same song as you. There are only so many good songs out there that are A) fun to perform and B) fun for the audience to watch. Now this is the part that gets tricky to remember: none of us - kings, queens, undecided - none of us "own" a song. In no way does performing a song make it "your" song. You can try to argue with me but I'm willing to bet that whomever holds the copyright to said song would back me up on this, and I'd make a second bet that it isn't you who holds the copyright.

I do not think it is possible to "steal" someone's song. I do, however, think it is possible to rip off someone's ideas or interpretations of a song, or to borrow (without asking) someone's choreography or costume. These are the kind of things that fall into the "Bad, drag king! Bad!" category and I will have more to say on the subject in the future.

But if you walk into a bar and see another entertainer performing what you consider "your" song and feel the need to get offended or throw a hissy fit...you obviously cannot take the heat.

So please, get out of the kitchen.